I love you. Three simple words that change a relationship. Three of the scariest words to say and to hear. These words cannot be rushed and they must be meant when they are said. I still cannot believe those words came out of my mouth again, and that I actually meant it, but what scares me the most is he said it back. So now it is not only my heart on the line it is also someone else’s. I’m terrified my guard might come back up. I’m terrified of being hurt and of hurting someone. When you’ve had your heart broken before, well that wound never heals fully. There is still some distant echo of a pain you felt. A pain that tore your world apart. A pain that was so destructive to your life you didn’t want to continue on. But you carry on anyway, and eventually you meet someone you can say those words to. There is no promise that after that point you wont get hurt, you will probably get hurt much easier now because you have exposed your heart. I believe it was Paulo Coelho who said love will either damn you to hell or take you to heaven, but it will always take you somewhere. Right now I’m in heaven, will it last? That question I don’t have the answer to. What I do know is this, I met someone very unexpectedly, I said yes when he asked me to be his girlfriend and he has proven to me that he is a man of actions not of words. Yes I love him, and yes I believe he loves me. The morning after he said it there was a slight change in the air, in the way he looked at me, held me, kissed me. So I have decided to tear down this wall I built. This wall was much like the Berlin wall. It had its purpose when it was built, but it was about time it get torn down. The difference is my wall came down slowly over time. The trust was built not just blindly given. So if ever there comes a time when I let you read this you will know that when I say I love you I mean it whole heartedly…you earned it, you also showed me that not every man in my life will hurt me. You wont all let me down. And I’m sorry if at times I seem distant….it’s just the echo of the past but it’s slowly dying out.
